Monday, 22 May 2017

Please pass the cookies

Dear Co-worker,
the biscuits are there for all staff to enjoy with their tea,
not for you to dip in to whenever you've sent a clever email.

Monday, 15 May 2017

Cheap? Moi?

Co-worker: (proudly) “I’ve never, ever been in a 99p shop.”
Me: “Really? So where did you get that outfit?”

Yeah, sorry. It was a cheap shot.

Monday, 8 May 2017

Stationery

Caller: Hi, I'm just ringing to make sure your stationery supplies arrived.
Me: They did. I'm just testing them out now.

Monday, 24 April 2017

Fascinating... NOT.



Dear Co-worker,
Please don't start a conversation with "Oh, that's interesting..."
...if you're then going to talk about your car insurance.

Monday, 17 April 2017

Monday, 3 April 2017

Choke, splutter, wheeze


Dear Co-worker, 
It's really not appropriate or polite to cough down the phone at clients...

Monday, 27 March 2017

No travel stories.


Dear Co-worker,
Truly, your martyrdom knows no bounds. It really is a miracle of nature that you manage to battle in every day against the adversity of cancelled trains, angry commuters and flying copies of the Metro.