Game, set and mismatch

In the spirit of Wimbledon, dear co-worker channels Roger Federer in the anti-fly electric tennis racket championship.

Please pass the cookies

Dear Co-worker,

the biscuits are there for all staff to enjoy with their tea,

not for you to dip in to whenever you've sent a clever email.

Cheap? Moi?

Co-worker: (proudly) “I’ve never, ever been in a 99p shop.”

Me: “Really? So where did you get that outfit?”

Yeah, sorry. It was a cheap shot.

Stationery

Caller: Hi, I'm just ringing to make sure your stationery supplies arrived.
Me: They did. I'm just testing them out now.

Fascinating... NOT.

Dear Co-worker,

Please don't start a conversation with "Oh, that's interesting..."
...if you're then going to talk about your car insurance.

I think we took a wrong turn...

Oh the horror. Weekend pub crawl with the lads. Let's try this place...

Choke, splutter, wheeze

Dear Co-worker, 

It's really not appropriate or polite to cough down the phone at clients...