Nosey parker

Dear Co-worker,
I've got no problem with you googling our clients, but I really don't need to hear the results of your findings. At length.
Do you really think I'm interested in what size company they are, what their turnover was last year or what they look like? (Ok, maybe the last one...)

Consolation

Dear Co-worker,

There's always someone worse off than you.

For example, right now you're annoyed and disappointed that you didn't get shortlisted for that job.

But spare a thought for the poor saps that still have to work with you.

Anti-social media

Dear Co-worker,
Thanks for confirming, it's always worth checking every so often.

You don't do ANY form of social media. At all.

Porn Idle

Quandry. If dear Co-worker's prospective new employers ask for a reference, do we mention all the porn he watches at work?