Milk of human kindness

Co-worker: I think this milk is off.

Me: Tastes fine to me. Who's side of the fridge did you take it from?

Silence.

PS Maybe that'll teach you to stop taking my milk.

PPS It's not off, it's the salt I put in it.

Who finished the milk?

Dear  Co-worker,

when you've run out of milk, the polite course of action is to go out and buy some more. Not use mine without asking. 

Wonders never cease!

Dear Co-worker,

Oh my god! That's the first time I've ever seen you genuinely surprised and admit that there's something you never knew.

For that shining moment, you were a more interesting and appealing person.